黃珮瑩

今年30歲,來自台灣的黃珮瑩憶及,自己從國小3年級就開始懷疑自己的性向,爾後學校開放某一同志團體進入校園演講時曾對他們說-「如果妳是女生,妳喜歡女生,那你妳很可能就是同性戀。」當時她聽到便彷彿自覺性別困惑有了解答,再加上小學5年級時遭受親人的性侵,就開始對男性產生嚴重的排斥,甚至開始塑造自己陽剛的外表。「其實每一任結束後都是非常痛苦的…」黃珮瑩坦言,這15年的同志生活中,她有過10個伴侶,但每一任結束只會讓她更加沮喪,長大至成人後,她內心開始變得痛苦與掙扎,因為她不明白當初自己選擇的道路是否正確,而她內心的空虛感也愈加強烈,甚至無法在同性伴侶身上填補內心的空虛。

Pei Ying Huang, a 30-year-old from Taiwan, recalls that she began to doubt her sexuality from the third grade of elementary school, and when the school opened to an LGBT group to speak on campus, the speaker said to them, “if you are a girl and you like girls. Then you’re. You’re probably gay. “when she heard this, it seemed as if she knew the answer to her gender confusions. In addition, when she was sexually assaulted by a relative in the fifth grade, she began to have a serious rejection of men and even began to shape her masculine appearance.”in fact, at the end of each relationship is very painful.” Huang admits that she has had 10 partners in her 15 years of gay lifestyles, but the end of each term will only make her more depressed, and as she grows up, her heart will start to become painful and more struggle. Because she didn’t know if the path she had chosen was the right one, and the emptiness in her heart was getting stronger. Having a same-sex partner can not fill the void in her heart.

 

 

 

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